AZAV8OR Posted August 3, 2015 Report Share Posted August 3, 2015 Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?” The princess said, "No!" And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew jets all over the world and drovehot cars and chasedskinny long-legged big-breasted flight attendants and hunted andfished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drankWeihenstephaner German beer and Captain Morgan and never heardbitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his houseand guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blewenormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and allhis friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell and he hadtons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anticept Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 left the toilet seat up. This right here should be enough to convince any man not to get married Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbigs Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 This right here should be enough to convince any man not to get married A urinal is a cheap solution to avoid dividing community property. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anticept Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 A urinal is a cheap solution to avoid dividing community property. True, and it also helps solve the problem with aiming in the early morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Avoiding conflict over the toilet seat. My wife, sister, brother-in-law and myself were having this conversation many years ago. I asked, "why not have the women lift the seat when they were finished instead of having us put the seat down when finished"? So I asked my brother-in-law, Bill, what he thought. His reply: "Put both the seat and lid down when finished. That way, everyone has to do something". Happiness for all! I love my brother-in-law Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishAl Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Once upon a time, a pilot asked a beautiful princess, "Will you marry me?” The princess said, "No!" And the pilot lived happily ever after and flew jets all over the world and drovehot cars and chased skinny long-legged big-breasted flight attendants and hunted and fished and went to topless bars and dated women half his age and drank Weihenstephaner German beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate cold leftover meals, potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The end. And he died a miserable, selfish old b******d who loved nobody, and nobody loved him. Great start, flagging middle section, tragic end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishAl Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 I guess the Irish aren't that 'advanced' - we're still old fashioned over here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyingMonkey Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 And he died a miserable, selfish old b******d who loved nobody, and nobody loved him. Great start, flagging middle section, tragic end. It says right near the end that "all his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell "... Sounds like he was loved by all! But I'm with you, I love being married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbigs Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 True, and it also helps solve the problem with aiming in the early morning. Or in the middle of the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbigs Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Avoiding conflict over the toilet seat. My wife, sister, brother-in-law and myself were having this conversation many years ago. I asked, "why not have the women lift the seat when they were finished instead of having us put the seat down when finished"? So I asked my brother-in-law, Bill, what he thought. His reply: "Put both the seat and lid down when finished. That way, everyone has to do something". Happiness for all! I love my brother-in-law There is no 'equitable' solution because women need the seat down for all functions. Men only need it down for one. But to make it as equitable as possible the rule should be whoever uses the toilet last leaves the seat in the position that was required for their last use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S4Flier Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Technology solved the toilet seat conundrum years ago. An easy "upgrade" from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/iTouchless-Elongated-Touch-Free-Controlled-Automatic/dp/B005IRLVBC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyingMonkey Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Or we could all pee seated, as they are now trying to enforce in parts of Europe. But that is just wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anticept Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Ya'll be takin' things too seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyingMonkey Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Ya'll be takin' things too seriously. This is CTFLier, we overanalyze *everything*. I'm honestly shocked that nobody has mentioned the lack of commas and generally mediocre grammar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 This is CTFLier, we overanalyze *everything*. I'm honestly shocked that nobody has mentioned the lack of commas and generally mediocre grammar. And don't you colonials ever dare to forget the apostrophe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishAl Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Its not just toilet's these colonials and their friend's like to discuss, they talk about CT's and RV's too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyingMonkey Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Sorry guys, I meant "overanalyse" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Irish Al, I'm just appalled at your misuse of the apostrophe - clearly letting the side down. But MrM dropping the z for an s shows there's hope for you yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandpiper Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 Or we could all pee seated, as they are now trying to enforce in parts of Europe. But that is just wrong. I have to be seated per doctors orders. He says I am not to lift anything heavy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anticept Posted August 4, 2015 Report Share Posted August 4, 2015 I have to be seated per doctors orders. He says I am not to lift anything heavy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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